LET'S TALK POOP!!!!

Face it. You have a diagnostic high tech digestive system that will LET YOU KNOW when somethin' ain't right within. Your very serotonin level (that's the PRIMARY HAPPINESS HORMONE) is 95% created in YOUR GUT!!!! So should Your innards be infested with toxic CRAP, so compacted it no longer can process the steady onslaught, cause it's CLOGGED? Your whole body is then a TOXIC DUMPSITE, not only making Three Mile Island look like the a tropical paradise, but making You feel like

crap.

But how can You tell for sure that Your entire Immune System is under siege, too weak to combat a growing legion of Cancer Cells, and other debilitative malfunctions? You can't slice open Your gut and most Western medical tests don't detect little cancerous growths, till the tumor is so big the doctor could pay You for confirming what his test finally picked up, 2 days before You've died.

More accurate evidence of something wrong is in YOUR POOOOOOOOP. Ideally? You shouldn't be passin' or straining to get logs complete with smelly wildlife out Your shooter. You MUST (notice I didn't say 'should') You MUST reach the optimum of crap elimination of 20 minutes to an hour after EVERY MEAL!!!!

Yeah. I know some of You ain't seen a good dump in so long, You took pictures of Your last one. Hope Your family will look so fondly on photos of You after You pass on, too. But in case You don't like that idea, read on, as...

EATING DEAD STUFF SHOULD BE WHAT YOU BURY BEFORE ANYONE BURIES YOU, and I'mma tell You frank, ain't no hamburger on the EARTH as sweet as having co-operative fecal matter. Ideally, that's a soft, mushy (not diarrhetic) mass that flows out with NO pleading or begging on Your part. And? IT PRETTY MUCH DOESN'T STINK.

Yeah, that's RIIIIIGHT!! You can tell Folks, "My &%#@ don't stink," and You wouldn't be lying!!! Your sweat will also be a whole bunch less biological weapon grade.

How to achieve THAT? Well, carcass foods and byproducts are INFESTED WITH ROT. Eat 'em and they pass the gift onto YOU, where Your body is left to find any visible exit route to get rid of that, um?

dookie.

Even overcooked vegetation is a literal graveyard, only slightly better because it still does contain FIBER,whereas meat and meat byproducts has NONE. You got a toothbrush? Well Fiber is Your GUTBRUSH. And Living Food, with the living enzymes that help Your body digest the nutrients, soothing Your hunger pangs (You meat eaters are truly weaker as Your body goes on strike if You miss one lousy meal. Geez. What kinda nonsense thinking having a frantically starving body that cries for food cause what you eat has nothing, what kind of STRENGTH IS THAT?) - the living food also comes without the hetracyclic sludge that clogs Your system, which are a byproduct of overheating ANYTHING. The remaining fiber brushes out the material that INEVITABLY gets stuck in all those crevices. This is how one knows We Hue-mans are NOT carnivores nor even omnivores, as those creatures have SHORT INTESTINES. Our food is meant to be digested SLOWLY, whereas a lion's body knows it's eating FESTERING FLESH and gets that garbage out in QUICK TIME. Carnivores and Omnivores Die in quick time, too as digesting rot is hard on a body. Not that that should bother the stonecold Dead Flesh Lovers who prefer a chicken dinner to life.

Fasting is another MUST in achieving truly Gorgeous Dung. The juice fast can target specific organs, or a general water fast can flush (no pun intended, kinda) out massive quantities of imbedded refuse stuck in fatty tissue. I don't recommend COLONICS, as that flushes out EVERYTHING, and You need that good gut flora to keep the bad in check. Do cleansing enemas instead with filtered or distilled water while fasting. Distilled is best. And when starting a fast, reduce food intake slowly the day before, and return to eating just as slowly the day after.

Now, a simple Thank You will suffice for me for helping You achieve Beauty Pageant Level Dumps. PLEASE, I know I want You have Pretty Healthy Turds, but if You send me a picture? You are INSTANTLY BANNED FROM THE PAGE, PERMANENTLY. Don't try coming back. See? I Love You, but

not that much. Nobody but You can or should ever Love You like You need to be in order to have Your insides as Squeezably FRESH as Your out.

Peace and Blessed Multiple Daily and Easy Releases.